Trust is the bonding force in any intimate relationship and precedes love itself. Even when someone loves you deeply, they can break your trust and leave you shattered and dismayed. Trust builds very slowly but can be lost completely in a moment, it’s a very tender force.
In this article we deal three topics, namely – How do you identify trust issues in relationships, what are its causes and how to build trust in a relationship. Having a relationship with a spouse who has trust issues can be annoying and frustrating but it is equally important that you take steps towards resolving these issues on timely basis.
Signs of trust issues in relationships
Below listed are the commons signs indicating trust issues in your relationship.
Your spouse gets overly possessive – If you sense that your partner is exhibiting highly possessive behavior asking you questions and details of every nuance of your life outside their vision, it would indicate that they have issues with trusting your loyalty.
Jealousy takes form of violent outbursts – Getting overly jealous about inconsequential happenings like you going out with a group of colleagues for lunch can be signs of mistrust. Temper tantrums and abusive outburst can make a highly jealous behavior.
Intrusion into your communications – It is very annoying to have your spouse keeping tab of all your mobile messages, caller list and emails. This kind of a behavior is highly symptomatic of a person who lacks trust in his/her spouse.
Your spouse starts playing the role of a detective – Do you feel like you are being followed or stalked by your spouse? This is quite common in extreme cases of mistrust. Sometimes your spouse might even drop into to your office without warning just to check up on you. This type of behavior is annoying and it reeks of trust issues.
Why do trust issues develop in a relationship?
Lack of self esteem – People who have severe insecurities about themselves are prone to have trust issues in their relationships. This is because they never believe that they deserve better. They almost want to believe that their spouse is cheating on them because they are not good enough.
Cheated in a previous relationship – The burnt child dreads the fire. If you spouse has been jilted in a previous relationship, there is a huge possibility that he/she is yet to overcome the stigma of it and may be projecting their fears onto their present relationship. To regain trust in relationships does take time.
Irrational anxiety – How do you build trust in a relationship when your inherent nature is prone to anxiety? If you are always expecting the worse there is little room for anything positive in your life. People with irrational anxiety live in continuous phobia about what the future might reveal to them.
How to build trust in a relationship
There are some simple steps to resolving trust issues in a relationship, equally important is that you use these steps to rebuild trust in a relationship that’s gone bad but in a more patient manner.
Communicate as effectively as possible – The root cause of loss of trust is lack of communication. Keep your spouse informed of your activities so that they can reach you in case of trouble or just so that they are rest assured.
Don’t get too busy to say “I love you” – Be open about your feelings for your spouse. Let him/her know how much they mean to you. Small words of love can pacify the most insecure hearts and play a role in resolving relationship trust issues.
Seek to understand first – May be your partner is over anxious or overly possessive, but understand that their behavior has roots in their past conditioning. Try to understand the reasons for their insecurities and alleviate them to the best of their comfort.
Don’t break their trust – The last thing you want to do is break your partner’s trust when they are already having a hard time trusting you. False promises, white lies or miscommunications can serve to break the tender string of their trust. Be loyal and show unconditional love towards your partner so there is never a question of mistrust.
In conclusion, trust issues in relationships develop for various reasons but what’s important is how you deal with it – understanding, patience and unconditional love are the only factors that can eradicate these issues with time.