Facts on Interracial Marriages and Relationships

What do you understand when you hear the word ‘interracial’? Most people would immediately think of mixed races – and it is not often than this is not easily accepted. You would wonder why. Why is it that people are indeed differentiated by religion, nationality or race? Are not all people born equal in the eyes of God? Why do the eyes of humans differentiate among each other? Worst – why do they segregate themselves in tight compartments based on their beliefs, geographical location and physical attributes?

The Background in USA

Interracial relationships in USA refer mostly to those between the white and blacks – and these have evoked some extremely violent reactions, riots, arson and many lives were lost for what today seems a ridiculous self-imposed barrier. There have been more laws protecting or forbidding blacks than any other laws in USA – and today there is a grudging acceptance of the fact that relationships between two consenting adults do cross barriers of race, religion and economics.

Racism is an ugly and shameful – yet very real feeling that exists even today. It is not as open as it was in the beginning of the 20th Century and has fewer ugly repercussions, but there are still families out there that shut down the doors on their children who think of marrying “outside” their race – especially if their beloved is black. It is often that this non-acceptance of this marriage dooms a good number of black-white marriages. Marriages that are successful, usually move out from the “acceptance” requirement and make their own private world.

The Trends Are Changing

What is the most difficult part of an interracial marriage, most people would ask. The answer is nothing. Yes, nothing is difficult or any different than any normal marriage where two adults have to work out their likes and dislikes in such a manner that it is possible to co-exist in love and harmony.

Some people think that religion is often the bone of contention – especially when it comes to deciding what religion the children should be brought up in. Fortunately, this is rare. In reality interracial relationships are quite open about their personal religion choices and the children benefit from this broader outlook.

In most cases children would adopt the religion of the mother not for any other reason, but for the fact that they tend to copy the person they love the most – and that is in the majority of cases the mother. However, this does not mean that the religion o the father is ignored. Often children of such marriages grow up to respect both religions equally and with the utmost conviction that God is one and not limited to one particular religion.

Communications vs Miscommunication

Are there more conflicts in an interracial marriage than in any same race marriage? Conflicts – no. Differences – yes. There are many differences in the most basic of behavior which would definitely cast its shadow on the marriage or relationship. Things like eating vegetarian food vs non vegetarian food. In some places like India eating beef is considered a sacrilege – almost n par with eating another human being. In this case, some deep sacrifices and adjustments are required from both the partners.

However, if the basis of the marriage is based on love – all these difference would be worked out without any difficulty because both partners would want the other happy and hence a middle path would be easy to carve.

Benefits Of Interracial Relationships And Marriages

There are plenty of benefits that accrue from an interracial relationship. The first and foremost is that the children of this relationship are likely to be better global citizens than those born from marriages/ relationships of the same race. And this is the need of the day – more thinking we are part of the world, rather than a country or a race.

There is more tolerance towards the diversity of religion because the partners learn to respect the differences and nuances of each religious tradition they follow. Their children would grow with a broad outlook on God and the importance of religion. Again, this is the need of the day. More people have died as a result of religious hatred than all the wars put together. Religious tolerance and sensitivity is sorely needed in today’s world.

Do Interracial Relationships Actually Work?

This is a question that could be put for any marriage or relationship; and the answer would be the same. Yes, they do work. Provided both partners work at the marriage hard enough. This is a valid statement for all marriages or live-in relationships. Love between two consenting adults very rarely stops at racial and habit differences.

The success or failure of the interracial marriage/ relationship is not due to the differences of the persons who come together but the amount f love they share. It so happens that in many cases the difference of a race is more attractive and the love is based on the necessity to do something different. Here the attraction is more physical than mental – and such relationships fail because the weak mental connection would not stand a chance when the differences between the habits, traditions and treatment by people at large surface.

All interracial marriages which were based on mental compatibility and love are successful because when two people are in love – nothing else is important but one another’s happiness. Some of the failures are credited to the backhanded pressure from the parents of these people. This is because most people need the approval of their families even if they do not openly acknowledge this fact. When this approval is not forthcoming, people usually store it at the back of the mind and thereafter blame any or all difficulties on that non-acceptance.

Fortunately, the trends are changing and the people of USA are now more open than ever to interracial relationships and marriages. Hopefully, this trend would continue and give way to a better and more homogenized world over the next three four generations.


 

2 Comments

  • Rina
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Okay so I went on my senior graduation trip to Cancun, Mexico in the summer of 2007. I had no intentions of finding a boyfriend out there when I was going to be having fun with my friends. Well the first night there I met a great and incredibly gorgeous guy! We hit it off and we hung out the whole trip. At first we didn’t think that anything serious would come of it, but love was in the air and we continued to stay in touch since we were both from the Los Angeles area. I knew he was of Armenian descent and that they are only allowed to date withing the Armenian community; one of which i did not belong to. So we just decided to keep talking and getting to know each other- we were definitely in love and didn’t want anything silly like that to get in the way of two very compatible people. Well as soon as his father caught wind of the fact that I was not Armenian, he threatened to kick my boyfriend out of their home. I could not believe this. It was so old fashioned to me, and outrageous! My parents told me I should do what I wished to do just as long as we knew what we were doing. So we’re still together, and coming up on our six month anniversary, but his parents are not happy and pretty much are unaware of our relationship. It saddens me to know that I am somewhat a “secret” but I know that in order for us to one day have a fair shot at a relationship, things have to be like this for now.

  • Mark
    Posted July 5, 2011 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    16 July 2000, in the eighth floor apartment of Rua de Kassuende, Maputo, Mozambique at a party to farewell my predecessor, after 2 weeks in country, I met my wife to be. She could speak 6 different languages, I could speak English. Neither of us had a common language! I followed her around that apartment that night. She fascinated me, and I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. The Australian Army had sent me to Mozambique to assist with the clearance of landmines and I was there for 6mths…I ended up staying for 9mths…and would have stayed longer if I could have. I met Dina again 2weeks after our first meeting, and we have been exclusive ever since. We are inter-cultural and interracial. Dina is one of 25 kids from a family with a Shangaan father, and 3 mothers (Chope, Ronga, and Xitswa). I am one of 4 kids from the marriage of my parents in a small bush town in Australia. I had to leave Dina in Mozambique as I left in 2001…it was the saddest time of my life. At the time I did not understand what it would take to be with Dina, and i had to get back to Australia to fully find out….so we left each other, without any further commitment…we did not know if we would see each other again. I got back to Australia and truly found out I could nto live without her. I gave her a call and asked if she would marry me…out of the blue. There was not a moment’s hesitation in her reply…emphatically ‘YES’. From then it took a further twelve months of documentation and administration for Dina and her 3 kids to join me and my 2 kids in Australia. We married in 2002…and life could not be better!