Also Read: 10 signs of a controlling relationship
Here are a few tips on how to deal with a controlling relationship and get back to living a fulfilling life.
1.) You don’t have to break off – Just because you identified yourself to be in a controlling relationship does not mean that you have to break off with your partner. Remember that it’s not his/her fault that he/she behaves this way – most of it has a lot to do with childhood conditioning and their personal experiences with insecurity.
Instead of feeling like victim learn to look at your partner as the one who needs help. If you intuitively know that your partner deeply loves you, in spite of their controlling behavior, then you just need to work at the relationship to make it more fulfilling rather than moving away from it.
2.) Help your partner get over insecurities – Once you see through the manipulative behavior that your partner uses to control you, there is little chance of your being ensnared by it. Now you are in a position to make some changes in your relationship especially with respect to your partner’s outlook. Communication and unconditional love can go a long way in healing the deepest of insecurities in your partner.
3.) Take control of your own happiness – Stop depending on anything outside you to satisfy you. A relationship is not a source of seeking happiness but an avenue to share love. Your happiness is your responsibility. Keep it that way. Stop blaming your relationship or your partner for not being able to fulfill you. If you take charge of your own happiness it won’t be long before your relationship becomes balanced again because you are no longer feeding it with your insecurities.
4.) Make room for all your priorities – Dealing with a controlling relationship can get tough when it comes to making personal decisions. Your controlling partner may want to have say in every part of your life, don’t stand for it. If you allow your partner to dictate what should and shouldn’t be important to you, it will cause you to live in resentment instead of freedom. Love blossoms better in an environment of freedom than bondage.
5.) Balance your love life with your personal life – Your relationship with your partner can be the highlight of your life but don’t make it the only thing in your life. You will become more whole as a person when you learn to appreciate several beautiful experiences, apart from your relationship, that life has to offer.
6.) Stay in touch with your support system of friends and family – Your friends and close family members care for you and mean well, don’t shun them or ignore them because you are too busy in your relationship. Give them some of your time and enjoy their company. If you make your partner the only center in your life, it won’t be long before they start unconsciously misusing this power they have over you.
7.) Stop seeking approval – Remember that what other’s think of you is their problem not yours. You don’t have to defend yourself or provide explanation for everything you do just to seek approval from your partner. You are allowing yourself to be a victim here.
8.) Learn to love yourself for who you are – A healthy sense of self will ensure that you will never do something you don’t like doing – no matter how strong the outside force. When your source of love and strength comes from within you will never get ensnared into a controlling relationship for long. When you learn to love yourself your partner will develop a sense of respect for you as well.
In conclusion, dealing with controlling relationship is all about taking responsibility for the situation and working with a desire for more freedom and love – a basic right of every sentient being.