Tips on How to Cope in a Sexless Marriage

The total lack of sexual intimacy or infrequency of sex, from a spouse’s point of view, can both be termed as a sexless marriage. Before we proceed, it is important to clear a few myths regarding sexless marriages, they are

Sexless marriage is more prevalent in older couples – Nothing can be further from truth. Most instances of complaints come from the younger couples in their 20’s and 30’s.

Men are mostly victimized in sexless marriages – On the contrary, it is usually the woman who ends up frustrated by the lack of sexual intimacy when the man loses physical interest in her or his libido.

Sexless marriages end up in divorce – This is not true at all. The number of couples that survive in a relationship with no, or very infrequent, sex is quite staggering and very common.

In this article we seek to give some useful tips on how to cope in a sexless marriage or how to stay positive and happy in such a marriage. Your desire and love for your spouse is critical to survive a sexless marriage and there is every possibility of reigniting the passion back into your married lives as time goes by.

How to cope in a sexless marriage?

Most couples have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that they are living in a sexless marriage. Denial is usually the root cause of all frustration and resentment that builds up between the couples which can even lead to separation. Here are few tips on how to survive a sexless marriage.

Understand that your spouse’s libido is their problem – Don’t make a personal issue out the lack of sex in your marriage. It’s not because you are not attractive or likeable, it’s just that your spouse has fallen out of the drive or desire for frequent sex.

Don’t play the blame game – There is no point in making your spouse feel guilty about his/her lack of sexual appetite. Libido is not your personal control, add to it the pressures of day to day living and a person can completely lose interest in thinking about sex.

Physical Intimacy is not just about sex - May be your spouse is getting impotent or may he/she is losing her sex drive but that does not mean you can no longer snuggle or cuddle with each other. You can have a lot of physical intimacy through hugs, kisses and massages, without them culminating into a sexual encounter.

Don’t let your frustration come in the way of love – You cannot allow the lack of sexual intimacy to come in the way of your love for your spouse. If you start giving your spouse the cold shoulder, because he/she is unable to live up to your needs for sex, it won’t be long before separation comes up on the cards. Love can carry on despite the lack of sex.

How to stay positive and happy in a sexless marriage?

To survive a sexless marriage it’s extremely important that you avoid bringing in negative emotions into your relationship. Frustration, resentment, guilt and anxiety are all emotions that you or your spouse may feel in due course in a sexless marriage and these can be extremely detrimental to physical and mental health. Here are few tips on how to stay positive in a sexless marriage.

Get back to dating your spouse – Start from the basics. May be you both have fallen out of touch with each other due to your hard pressed professional lives. Get some time out together, at least thrice a week, by going out on a date together.

Frequently express your love – It’s very important to let your spouse know of your love verbally. Don’t let your spouse feel guilty for his/her lack of sex drive. Keep reaffirming your love for each other, there is no better mantra for a happy marriage.

Do some fun things together – You can ask your spouse to give you a sensual massage or may be have a shower together. You can even watch some adult movies together, some of which might lead to some passionate encounters between the two of you.

Keep yourself relaxed – Try to remove your focus away from the negatives and just focus on the positives consciously. It is important to keep yourself relaxed through – meditation, yoga, spirituality or even an interesting hobby. Find a channel to divert your sexual energy so that it does not lead to internal frustration.

In conclusion, when you really love your spouse it’s easy to cope in a sexless marriage, as your deep felt care will override any feelings of resentment. If there is no love left in the relationship it’s best to move out of the dead marriage and stop suffering in it.