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Taking Care of the Elderly - Important Points to Note
Often , when these children attain adulthood, they are too anxious to start living their own lives to realize that this is the time when they could pay back some of the love and care their parents showered on them. The irony of life is that these children would do the same to their children, and the circle completes itself.
In majority of the cases, only after one becomes a parent himself or herself the realization of the amount of emotional and physical commitment required to bring up a child is felt and acknowledged. Even then, how many people are able to love and care for their old parents in the same measure that their parents did for them? Very few.
Why Is It So Difficult To Love and Care For Your Own Parents?
There are many reasons why elders are neglected:
Lack of time - One of the most important reasons is that the young adults have indeed no time and often no money either. It so happens that these adults are busy in building their careers and families and are caught in the vortex of balancing their marriage and career which leaves them with little or no time to spend with the elders.
Lack of money in order to provide proper geriatric care money is required to hire professional (geriatric) nurses or place in quality old age homes. However, it often happens that these people do not have sufficient for doing so. Elder care facilities need to be comfortable, have proper emergency medical care available, offer quality entertainment for the age group and quality food. All this requires money which is often a short commodity.
Attitude of the elders - your parents are used to be in the role where they lead the way; they advice; they usually are the ones whom you listen to. As they age, this role is gradually reversed and the elders resist this change as it makes them feel useless, worthless and subordinate. As this happens, they become stubborn, nagging and quite childish in their behavior. One can easily chastise a child and no one would think anything about it. However, when you chastise your old parents for seemingly irresponsible behavior it no only looks callous but also heartless on the part of the child (now adult in whose care the old parent lives).
Spouse chemistry the ability of taking care of your elder parents is also influenced (to a very large extent) by the attitude and chemistry your spouse has with your parents. If they are not hitting off, your home could become a virtual battle ground where you would find yourself arbitrating at all times trying your best t maintain an ever elusive peace and harmony.
Lack of attachment there are instances where the children lived most of their lives outside their homes such as boarding schools, hostels, etc. In these cases the children do not form a close enough bond to really care for their elder parents and find it difficult to care for them when they are old and their failing health and mental status would be highly demanding of their time and attention.
Whatever be the cause, the fact remains that you do owe it to our parents to love, respect and care for them in the evening of their lives. How you should decide according to what is most suitable to your time and budget. The fact that they are completely helpless in their old age puts you in a position of no choice but to offer them the support they need.
How To Chose The Right Elder Care Home
When the elders need constant attention and supervision you are faced with two choices (i) appoint a geriatric nurse to live with your elder parents or (ii) shift them to a good elder care home. In the first instance, you would need to check their references, professional qualifications and your gut feeling. In the second instance you would need to check out the following:
Quality of environment check the rooms of the inmates. Are they clean, bedsheets changed, rooms smelling fresh and with the basic amenities such as attached bathrooms, TV, possible a computer with internet, entertainment area, etc.
Quality of staff ask for the qualifications of the staff and check the way they attend to the needs of the elders. Are the inmates hair combed, clothes clean, overall atmosphere peppy and relaxed? What happens to the aged people who have developed urine or fecal incontinence? How they ensure personal hygiene?
Quality of care is the food offered answering to the nutrition requirements of the elders? Is it tasty enough to coax them into eating as much as they need? What happens if the aged person cannot feed herself or himself? Is there proper monitoring on their food and water intake?
Quality of entertainment what type of entertainment is provided? Are the aged people getting enough of fresh air and exercise? Is there a TV room (or TV in the room)? Is it possible for them to pursue hobbies or play games if they so want? Are they allowed to keep pets?
Quality of medical care if there is any emergency what medical care is available? Is there a dispensary on the premises? Is there a doctor or doctors 24x7 who are ready for any geriatric emergency?
You would need to check things carefully before you decide so you could offer the optimal care for your aged parents. You owe to them. Once you have found the right home, remember to visit your parents as often as possible. Make their last years comfortable and happy. And if you find it all too overwhelming you can consider joining some traning courses for care of the elderly.